How to Break Up with your Best Friend

Everyone has that one person, or even a couple of people, in their circle of friends that is more of a bother to your self-identity than a good edition as a true friend. It might be hard to tell who these friends are at first, because, either initially or superficially, these friends are a great fun to be around as well as providing support for you in a time of need. However, despite this outer shell, some friends can turn into toxic friends. The general rule to indicate a toxic friend is if they are taking much more from you than you are receiving in return. 

Psychologist Dr. Markman has distinguished three different categories of toxic friends:

1. The Narcissist: Narcissists feed on the energy and success of other people. Initially, narcissists are great friends because of their devotion and dedication to you, but eventually they begin to suck you dry by putting their accomplishments over your own, resenting your successes, and attempting to make you feel bad about the good things that have happened in your life. 

2. The Mooch: Not all of our friends are as fortunate as you may be, so grabbing them a coffee or a sandwich once in a while is a decent thing to do. However, a mooch friend will consistently allow you to pick up the bill for lunch or drinks or borrow things and never return them. Basically, a mooch friend doesn’t reciprocate the good that others put in. 

3. The Paranoid: Some of our friends may seem to have fascinating lives filled with drama and theatrics such as fights, horrific bosses or misunderstanding parents. What initially attracts you two together is your shared resentment for the cruel world, but you soon realize that the drama in your paranoid friend’s life is the result of their own manifestation. In other words, the paranoid friend creates and maintains that drama in their own life, sucking you into their negative energy. 

If you find yourself dealing with a toxic friend, there are a couple of ways to “break up” with them as smoothly as possible. In reference to newer friends or co-worker friends, it is an easier process. Simply start turning down invitations to hang out and, generally, they will eventually stop calling, resulting in a mess free “break up”. Splitting with a bestie, however, can be a bit messier though. First, break ties with your bestie, and begin hanging out with more positive people and friends. Slowly begin turning down invites to join your toxic bestie for drinks, etc. and, ideally, the relationship should slowly dissipate. However, at some point that tough break up talk may be necessary between you and your toxic bestie. 

Sources: Oye Times